Every passing of a year brings hope. Hope that things will go better. That things will improve. But it also brings disappointment and regret. You wish you had done things differently. You wish you didn’t mess up everything.
You look at past with a sigh and loop through every year that you deemed were important. That you wished to make a difference. You think hard about them and wonder if you have wasted them.
You want to blame someone. You want to give some excuse. But you know deep down that you are the problem. No matter how valid your excuses are, you know ultimately that it’s all your fault. Your the victim and the villain himself.
You may now want to cry hard. But crying won’t reverse time. Nor would it alter or bring back the past. No matter how hard you cry, it won’t reverse the laws of nature. You know it, but you still wish you could do it.
Panicking won’t help either. You know that, even if your heart wants you to panick. You know that the only way is the highway. To move forward and take lessons. To not repeat the past mistakes. That’s the highway.
Perhaps, you should look upon it differently, positively and rationally. You know that you learned so much from the mistakes. You know what works and what doesn’t. You have realized your own problems and issues, so you can deal with it sooner than later. You have learned things much worthy than what you regret over losing.
You have learned a great lesson---a lesson, when you sit and look at it now, is a semi blessing.